previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Hey, uh, we're looking for a real powerful wizard.
I know who might have seen him. Bolo's tent.
She runs the pub.
Okay, maybe you have seen a dwarf in purple robes.
Dwarf with a purple robe?
That dwarf there, he's a hero.
Make no mistake, there.
But he and his entourage shortly thereafter took off straight away for the hills, quick as cats, you know.
You guys mount up and ride towards these serpent hills.
Onward, buttercup.
As you approach the statue, you hear the sudden sound of grinding stone.
Halt! You come before Diderius.
Diderius extends wisdom, and Diderius offers knowledge.
Which do you seek?
I would like wisdom.
The room is nearly darkness now,
but you make out the faint outline of a door on the left wall of the room,
and written on that door, in bright white chalk,
is the word save.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I'm your dungeon master, Russ More, and with me today is Amy More.
Hey there.
Who do you play, Amy?
Thea Amastasia.
And Carla Johnson, who plays?
Yulara Moonbrook.
Hi.
And Tom Laird, who also is playing somebody?
Yep, I sure am.
Flintfire Rear is my character's name.
Fantastic.
How's everybody tonight?
Doing great.
How are you, Russ?
Super good, Russ.
How you doing, buddy?
I'm doing okay.
Doing okay.
Just a little technical difficulties off the top here,
but we're doing okay.
Are we doing okay?
We're doing okay.
I hear we're doing okay.
I heard more we're doing okay.
We're doing all right.
What's going on in everybody's life?
That was not a question I was prepared for.
I think you guys are the only ones with excitement in your lives.
I don't mean to speak for you, Tom.
Yeah, I'm excited about the new Blade Runner movie,
but that's about it for me.
That looks good.
Looks like it's going to be really good.
Yes.
Yeah, no, Amy and I are moved in our new apartment.
We're Harry Potter-ing it right now.
We are in a closet.
Surprisingly, with the blankets we've hung up,
not a lot of echo, so that's good.
It was my idea.
Amy's got good ideas.
She's very smart.
Now, will your mean aunt be hiding your letters from Hogwarts on you,
or what's the deal there?
Probably.
She tried to stop us from doing a podcast tonight,
I think is what was the thing.
Then Russ smashed that beer bottle,
which is how he cut his finger,
and told her to back down.
He was like, step off, Auntie.
I like it.
We are a fifth edition actual play podcast,
and we tell the lovely story of Flint, Thea, and Nularaaaah
as they are trying to save the world from the cult of the dragon.
We are also on Patreon,
which you can find us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast.
And if you become a patron, you could have an episode dedicated to you.
Like tonight, our randomly generated person
who we are dedicating this episode to is actually another podcast.
The Tales from the Fandom podcast run by one David Ginsberg.
Love that guy.
Hooray for David.
So awesome.
He's a fantastic guy.
Thank you, David.
You rock.
And your podcast is great, too.
Speaking of his podcast, you should check it out.
Not only because it's amazing,
but because we are going to be on it towards the end of October.
What?
Don't quote me on the date, but I think it's around October 23rd.
I am looking forward to it.
You, too, could have an episode dedicated to you.
Just visit Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast.
And we'll give you a little shout out and a thank you.
And thank you to all our other supporters on Patreon and Twitter
and Facebook and everywhere who are downloading and listening to the show.
Thanks, everyone.
Let's play some D&D.
You leave the room with the watchful statues
and enter this new chamber.
The floor here is set with a beautiful tile mosaic.
Showing a knight in plate armor wielding a glowing sword
against a chimera in the light of a blazing mosaic sun.
The light in this room is only what is coming from the door.
So it is getting to be very dark.
Those with dark vision, you're good.
Excellent.
Those without dark vision, not as good.
I can't remember if New Laura has dark vision or not.
I do not.
I do have a flaming sword that I can pull out
and light on fire if I'm worried.
That's cool.
Or we could hold hands.
To you, New Laura, being not dark visioned,
it's nearly pitch black in this room with the exclusion of like a sliver of light.
This chamber is a high vaulted dome
with a deep inset ledge circling the room 10 feet wide and 15 feet up.
Clint and Thea, on the west wall, you see a door.
And beside that door, there is the word safe written in chalk.
Also in the room, another door to the north, which is straight ahead of you.
Does it say definitely no monsters here?
It doesn't say anything.
And an open passage to your right.
Okie dokie.
What do you guys want to do?
Well, logic dictates that someone has been here before
and has checked these out and has marked the one on the west wall as safe.
I think we should go there.
Yeah.
Do you guys remember what we're doing in this temple?
We're looking for veram, aren't we?
Yeah.
Just making sure we were all on the same page there.
Because I totally wasn't sure.
Yeah, I know.
Thank you for saying that.
We followed him into the hills, found this temple.
And I mean, the safe could be a trick, but let's go safe.
Sure.
Yeah.
You walk closer to the door and as you step in further into this room,
make a perception check.
14.
Ok, 19.
14 for me.
Step further into this room and you all see the tiled chimera
begin to shift in place.
And it begins to form and jump out of the floor,
forming a tile-shaped chimera.
Roll for initiative.
Ah, it wasn't safe.
We're right into it, hey?
This is why we don't trust Russ.
Because every wall and door attacks us.
12 for my initiative.
18.
Not 20.
Godmother fucking damn shit.
Easy, easy.
Thea, you are up first.
The chimera leaps from the floor.
But you are all perceptive enough that you see it trying to ambush attack you.
Good.
Sorry, this is a stone chimera.
It's a tile.
So it, if you can picture the shape of a chimera.
I can't, go on.
A chimera is a three-headed beast.
One head is a dragon.
One head is a lion.
One head is a goat.
Oh, Carla.
And it is formed by Carla.
Magically, from tiles.
Like, is it like a pretty mosaic?
Yes.
Oh, ok, cool.
Ok, well here's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to moonbeam it.
Is there a way that we could just put some grout on the tile chimera and just like get it back into the floor?
And like maybe seal it?
Like some tile seAlydint?
Are we talking ceramic?
Yeah, stone tiles.
Oh, more like marble?
Yeah.
What do you want to do?
Russ is not having our shenanigans today.
I thought we were just vamping while Amy found her spell.
Do a 2d10 radiant damage on a failed constitution saving throw.
It goes away so fast.
Ugh.
Do a constitution saving throw.
Chimera, motherfucker.
This is a 19.
What?
Fine, you get to take half of my damage.
You get three damage.
Half of my damage.
Ok.
My rolls were bad.
Fair enough.
So you call forth your moonbeam and it illuminates the room which allows Nulara to see much better in the room.
But it seems to have good refLexes and it jumps out of the way of your moonbeam.
And it is Flynn's turn.
How far away from me is this thing?
It is within 15 feet.
It leaked from the floor towards you and got nicked by the moonbeam.
So the moonbeam is directly about 10 feet in front of you.
Chimera is off to the right as you see it by about another five feet.
Ok.
I will head on over to where that chimera is and take a swing at it with my axe.
So that is a 20 but not nat 20.
Sure.
That will hit.
Ok.
26.
Nice.
26.
What type of damage is that?
That is a slash happy attack.
Ok.
It takes the full brunt of your slash happy attack and when you strike into this tile
chimera, where normally from a creature blood would spray, the tiles spray and splinter
as if they were its blood.
Sweet.
I guess I will do that all over again with my second attack.
You betcha.
That is not going to cut it.
It wasn't a crit fail but it was the next worst thing.
What did you roll?
Eight?
Nine in total.
Nine.
Ok.
That will miss.
So you strike again but the chimera dodges out of the way and flies up to the ledge
and targets Nularaaaa and Thea and it lets forth its breath weapon from the dragon head.
So you have to make, yeah, dexterity saving throw.
Two.
And that is with my bonus.
Oh, I rolled a nat 20 so I just like floated out of the way I guess.
Does she float out of the way and carry me out of the way?
Is her roll that good?
I can't believe that's when I get my 20 of the quarter.
That's why I swore so much.
I got my 20 for initiative.
Yeah, so Nularaaaa you take half as the...
I'm still of the mindset that if you crit a save you shouldn't take any damage.
Yeah.
Yeah, you would think that but you'd be wrong.
The chimera lets forth its breath weapon and it spews tiles down at you as breath weapons do.
And lots of dice.
Lots of dice.
In fact I'll borrow a couple.
No, don't touch mine.
I'm going to borrow a couple.
I still need to roll one more.
Oh my god.
I might die.
I don't like what you're adding.
Thea, you take 38.
38 bludgeoning damage.
Nularaaaa, you take half of that so that's 19.
Yikes.
Hate it when we have technical difficulties.
For us it gets so mean.
Isn't she pissy?
God damn it.
Sorry, moonbeam's concentration, is it not?
Yeah.
Roll to see if you maintain your moonbeam.
No, I don't fucking maintain shit.
So the room is in near darkness now.
God damn it.
Now it's Nularaaaa's turn.
Yay.
The chimera remains up on this ledge.
Which is how high in the air?
15 feet up.
Well, then I can't use my best weapon which is a real pain in the butt.
Well, Donnie and I, we're so simpatico because I can't use my flaming sword right now.
It's not going to help me as a weapon.
But Donnie can see in the dark.
Yes.
And he can send me telepathic images.
So he's just going to show me in my mind where the dumb tile chimera is.
And I'm going to shoot it with a crossbow in the dark.
Which would be amazing except everyone I'm with can see in the dark so they don't even think it's a big deal.
And it remains to be seen if I can actually do it.
But let's see what happens.
That is a 20.
I will assume that is a hit.
Yes, I hope.
20 will hit.
And that is seven piercing damage.
That will take half of that damage.
Bullshit.
Because it is resistant to piercing damage.
What a dink.
Okay, I'm going to shoot him again anyway because it's my only weapon that will do anything.
That is a six.
So I'm going to assume that is not a hit.
Six is not a hit.
Your first arrow sinks in but ricochets off some of the tiles.
Your second arrow goes wide.
And we're back to Thea.
Before I do anything else I'm going to mass cure wounds because otherwise I'm not going to last very long.
So 30 foot radius, 3d8 plus my spell casting modifier.
So we get 16 back.
Nice.
I like that way better.
Yeah, me too.
Now I'm only a little bit bloodied.
Okay, so you're good.
Flint, you're up.
Okay, so this chimera is still up on that ledge.
Yeah, you bet.
Am I able to shimmy up the ledge?
It is vertical 15 feet.
Yeah, yeah, you could probably get up there.
You have a ladder.
I do if needed.
I was just curious.
Isn't your axe that turns into the ladder?
No, it's my Rod of Lordly Might that I have in my pack sack.
Yes, I recall now.
In the old Jansport.
That's right.
Oh, the Jansport.
It's more of an Arcturix bag.
It's got a lot of room.
Yeah, we'll say that you could make it up to an area beside the chimera.
Beside him enough that I can swing my axe into his belly?
Sure, give it a whirl.
Excellent.
That is a 17 and 7.
24.
24 will hit.
8 and 12 is 20 and 4 is 24.
8.
24.
Alright.
And slashing.
It will take all of that.
And how's this chimera looking?
As you strike into it, more tiles clack and spread away.
And it seems that it is missing a large chunk of the tiles that were once making it up.
Okay.
I will take another swing at it because, well, I'm a fighter and that's what I do.
And that is a 18.
18 will hit.
Sweet.
13.
It takes that and lets out a bellow from the lion head.
And it's its turn now.
And you hear the clacking of the tiles together as it raises its dragon wings
and tries to recharge its breath weapon.
But it does not do that.
So it flies up into the air and goes to attack you, Flint.
And it makes a move.
It gets three attacks.
It goes to bite you and try to butt you in the head with the goat head.
Awesome.
And scratch you with one of its claws.
So the bite is a 14.
Not enough.
The claw is a 20, not critical.
Definitely enough.
And the horn is a 19.
Enough.
The lion rears back and roars and strikes you with its clawed tile paw.
For 2d6 plus four, that will be eight.
Slashing damage from its claw.
And then rams you with the goat head for another 2d6 plus four.
That's another 10 bludgeoning damage.
It flies to the other side of this room.
This room is about 40 feet across.
And perches on the opposite perimeter of the ledge that's created there.
And now it's Nulara's turn.
Did Flint use his ladder to get up there or he was able to just like get on up there?
Yeah, he climbed out the ladder.
Great. I'm going to do that.
You are currently at the entrance you came in.
So it is 40 feet on the other side.
So you're just hopping up in a specific spot.
So you're not going to be able to make it all the way.
I hate that Flint is literally the only one of us actually fighting this thing right now.
Not your fault.
I apologize.
No, no.
Thea and Nulara are having bad luck with their roles.
It's not your fault.
It's just not working out great.
Then I'm going to have to do my crossbow business again because it's my only, like, is it?
I can make us all invisible.
Guys, what do you think?
Yes, Russ's favorite spell.
I'm going to hit it with my crossbow.
I hope.
Not going to on my first attack because that's an eight.
Well, it's dark.
It's dark.
I'm trying to do this psychically with my pseudo dragon.
It's hard.
That is a 17.
17 will be good.
That is nine piercing damage, which I know it won't be.
Yeah, that's half.
I am also casting hail of thorns.
OK.
So because I hit a creature with a ranged weapon attack, the spell creates a rain of thorns that sprout from my ranged weapon in addition to the normal effect of the attack.
The target must make a dexterity saving throw.
OK, I will do that.
That is a nine.
Great.
I don't know how I know what it needs to get.
It'll be your spell save DC, which should be at the top of your spells page there in the middle.
That's a 14.
That is a fail.
You failed at that.
Failed.
Except it's piercing.
So whatever.
It all comes out in the wash, doesn't it?
Because he only takes half piercing, but creature takes 1d10 piercing damage.
If I use it at a higher level, which I may as well do because I've given him like three damage so far, the damage increases by 1d10 for each slot above first.
Sweet.
Sweet as he gets an extra.
That's seven and five is 12.
So actually an extra six piercing damage.
Perfect.
So yeah, you let loose your first arrow and Donnie's like, sorry, I didn't I didn't see where it really was.
But then it narrows you in on your second arrow and the thorns come out and impale some of the tiles and they stick to the wall based on your spell and crossbow attack.
Did you move at all?
Or were you going to hop up on the ledge?
No, I'm not going to get up on the ledge.
I'll move like more into the center of the room so that because the room's 40 feet across, right?
So if I'm more, a bit more central, I have a bit more access to the Chimera.
And Donnie this time, by the way, is just doing nothing because it's tile.
What's he going to do?
Sting it?
Well, he's helping you see.
So, you know, he's busy.
That's fair.
Thea, you're up.
Where is everyone in relation to me right now?
I feel like I'm just like in the entrance of the room.
I haven't really moved in.
You are still in the entrance.
Flint is above you and to your right on the ledge.
Nulara has moved into the center about 20 feet from you.
And the tile Chimera is on the ledge opposite you about 40 feet away and up 15 feet.
OK, well, I'm going to call lightning down upon this bitch.
3D10 lightning damage.
You need to make a saving throw.
What kind of saving throw?
The kind that you have the worst amount of stuff for.
Dex.
That's a six.
OK, 3D10.
Let's do it.
It's 12.
You form a cloud inside of this room that you're in and the lightning comes down
and breaks apart more of the tiles as you cast call lightning.
And it takes that full damage, but is looking like it's having trouble piecing itself back together.
But still appears to be constructed.
Flint, you're up.
OK, how far away from me is this thing?
If you were to jump down and directly run at him, you're about 40 feet away.
If you were to run the perimeter, you've got to do at least 60 feet.
OK, so either way, I wouldn't really be able to reach him.
There's the dash action, which allows you to double your speed for use of one action.
In a sense, you could run the perimeter and get to him, because I think your speed is 30, yes?
Yeah, I think it might even be 25.
We can say if that's what you want to do, you could make it to him, but you'd have to spend one action to get to him.
I'll move my 25 feet towards him.
Are you staying on the ledge or are you jumping down into the room?
Maybe I'll stay on the ledge.
OK.
And I will throw some of my hand axes towards him.
Sure.
Let me just find my stuff for my hand axes.
All these alternative weapons makes it so much harder.
All right.
First one.
That is a 14.
14 will hit.
Oh, excellent.
I was not expecting that.
All right.
And that's five damage.
More tiles fall to the floor as you hit this, but it's still in the fight.
Excellent.
I will throw another one at it.
And that is a 17.
17 will also hit.
And six damage.
As you throw the second axe at it, it is struggling to keep itself constructed, but still the two heads that are remaining mostly are the goat and the dragon head.
The lion head in the center has all but fallen apart from the amount of tiles that this creature has lost.
The dragon lets forth another breath weapon at Nularaaaa in the center of the room.
Make a dexterity saving throw.
Okie dokie.
That is an 11.
That is not enough.
What a surprise.
Listen to all of us guys.
So many dice.
Thank God for you healed me.
You're welcome.
Because I'm about to get gone.
34 bludgeoning damage.
What's left of it flies a little bit cockeyed to the west side of the room above the door that said safe beside of it.
Just for spatial understanding.
And it is Nularaaaa's turn.
I'm going to hit it again with the crossbow because I can still do hail of thorns.
I'm going to miss on that one pretty significantly.
14? Was that a hit before?
14, yeah 14 won't hit.
So that is...
So you have to do...
Is a dex?
Yes.
That's a 10.
So that does not save.
So that part was a 9 plus 7.
So 16 so you get 8 damage.
You release your second bolt from your crossbow and it strikes dead in the center where you could assume this creature's heart is.
And the tiles explode and clatter to the floor.
And it is dispatched.
And I yell, I'm not Salazar, don't be mad!
Hey you gave it damage earlier.
Nah like 3.
Flint fully killed that creature except that very last strike.
I scurry over and collect my crossbow bolts.
And I go get my axes.
Oh I guess I also pull out my sword.
It's on fire because I say muy caliente so I can see to pick up my crossbow bolts.
I want those back.
Yeah for sure.
Okay that's all good.
You collect all of your things and now you are standing in this eerily empty and very dark room.
You have the door to the west which is the door that has the word safe written in chalk on it.
See I thought we went through that door.
No we just went towards it and then the chimera came to life.
We moved and the chimera showed up.
The door to the south is the door you walked in.
The door to the north you see a large double door.
And there is an open passage which appears to be once you've collected yourselves and are looking around your surroundings appears to be a hallway that descends into a deeper darker chamber.
I use healing word on myself.
I'm going to use it in my third spell slot so I'm going to get 3d4 plus my spell casting bonus.
I assume our plan is the same we're still just going to head towards that safe door.
I'm hoping when we get there.
Exactly.
I'm hoping when we get there it doesn't mean that it is safe although it will be safe it means that it is a safe and it's just full of like treasure and shit.
Ooh that's fun.
Because that's how they mark things in temples right they just write it on with chalk.
It's like a fitting room at a clothing store.
Just write your name on the outside.
Exactly.
This is an old navy.
Exactly.
It's a ye old navy.
Classic.
And old has an E on the end of it.
Exactly.
Oh I like that.
So you guys collect your things do a quick scan of the room and then proceed into the door that has the marking of safe entering this new chamber you see in the center immediately a 10 foot wide well sitting near the well is a bronze bucket on a rope.
While an empty basin stands eight feet up along the north wall of the room with stone steps leading up to it.
A brass lever protrudes from the wall near the basin.
The sides of the well and the floor next to it are covered in bright red mushrooms.
God.
Those are never good.
Much like my drawings of mushrooms you should see they're incredible.
Nobody touched the mushrooms.
As I've already stuffed six mushrooms into my mouth.
I clap them on the back.
Does flint actually stuff six of them into the mouth?
No, of course not.
Flint dies.
Just checking. Just checking.
So we have not stepped on any mushrooms yet, but they are on the whole floor.
No, they are on the like the walls of the well in the center of the room and a little bit around it.
So you've walked in kind of you can see and based on the light from flame tongue, you can tell that they are bright red.
But everybody can see based on their dark vision that there are in fact mushrooms, but no, they don't they're not covering the whole floor.
Okay.
Can I like make a check? Do I know anything about these mushrooms?
Nature check.
You could make a nature check.
And this room is 40 feet across, but it's like a circular room that follows the shape of the well.
I rolled an eight.
I also have pretty good nature.
So I can I can.
I just got a 19 because I have advantage on intelligence checks.
Oh, yeah.
Okay. Well, that's better than mine.
I only got a 13.
Well, you know that they would be if you were to eat them, they would be safe to eat.
There is nothing poisonous about them.
And they they're they're safe.
They're just mushrooms.
Yeah, it's just just a very moist area and don't say moist wet very humid area based on the well.
And that yeah, they're just growing because of the climate around the well.
I wish your nature check hadn't gone so well so that I could have spent an hour hiding from safe mushrooms.
I go over, grab one of the mushrooms and eat it.
And I say, these are fine guys.
So you pick up the mushroom and they are slick to the touch with like a watery sheen that kind of resembles blood.
They have the taste and texture of raw liver.
But you quickly pop it into your mouth and you feel no ill effects from them.
Other than probably likes raw liver nasty boy.
He takes what we can get under the mountain.
We look upon him in disgust.
So there's some kind of puzzle here, I assume.
Do we care about it or should we?
Do we fill up the bucket from the basin up at the top to fill up the well?
Yeah, we lower the bucket into the well, collect water and put it in the basin.
I feel like we're on like minute to win it or like.
What's that one where the people have to go around the world?
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
Amazing race.
I'm pretty sure it's where in the world is Carmen San Diego.
Well, yeah, well, that was the original great race.
Yeah, let's do that.
Thea walks over and she picks up the bucket and makes sure that it is all attached to the appropriate stuff and throws it in the well and lowers it.
You drop it down and you hear a splash a couple seconds after you drop of it.
It fills up with water and you pull it back up to the surface where you are.
Do I notice anything weird about the water?
Nope, it looks, smells and feels just normal water.
Feels.
Just rubs it on herself.
I hand it to Nulara and I'm like, oh, throw it in the basin.
Okay.
I took the big risk.
There could have been a monster in that well.
Should we maybe do like some sort of like arcana check or is there anything like does anyone have detect magic or anything like that?
I have detect magic.
Maybe cast it on the basin and we'll see if there's like anything funky about it.
Sure.
I said the presence of magic within 30 feet of me for up to 10 minutes, so I can look at pretty much everything in the room.
So I cast detect magic.
And you get a sense and an aura and a feeling in the very air around you.
And as you are taking this all in, you look to the bucket and you notice the water beginning to evaporate as you take longer to sense any magic in this room.
But there's magic everywhere.
Guys.
This room is just.
It's just it's all it's all it's just completely dirty with magic.
Nulara run to the basin.
I like that you're still making Carla do it.
Run to the basin.
Well, it seems safe enough.
You rush up the stairs as this water is slowly beginning to evaporate and you pour it into the basin.
As it's continuing to evaporate, as you pour it, it begins to pool at the bottom of the basin and it kind of slants more towards the true north side of the wall.
What's going on up there, Nulara?
And continues to evaporate as you are waiting.
I think we just need more water.
Yeah, I run back down the stairs and fill you guys in on what happened and put the bucket back in the wall.
You drop the bucket down and fill it back up and bring it back to the surface and run up the stairs.
And you make it up before it begins to evaporate again.
And you pour it into this basin and it stays in the basin.
OK, guys, it worked that time.
I filled the base.
And now what?
You want me to do something with this lever?
What do you want me to do now?
Boss bossy pants?
As you finish yelling down to your friends, you look back and you notice the water begin to evaporate again.
Water's evaporating, guys.
You just said it was fine.
The situation is fluid.
That's a good one.
We all have a little chuckle in the midst of the serious situation.
Can you like buy lever?
What do you mean?
It is a brass lever.
So like a long protruding piece of brass from the wall that looks like.
Yeah, yeah.
OK, that's I wasn't OK.
I run back down the stairs, fill up the bucket again, run back up, pour it in, pull the lever.
When you pull the lever, you see a small opening form in the bottom of the basin and the water disappears beyond the wall.
What's our end game here?
Guys, I think we're just like in a washroom.
I don't even know where I'm going.
I filled the basin.
I pulled the lever and the water flushed.
Fence, toilet.
I filled up a sink and then I let the water out.
What do you want me to do here?
Nate, we're all really proud of you.
Maybe we should check another door.
I don't know if I have the mental capacity for this room right now.
You guys are doing great.
And there's no other changes in anything in the room?
We don't see where that water goes.
You can't see where the water goes.
It just goes beyond the wall, beyond the wall to the northern direction, beyond the wall.
But nothing else changes in the room.
If you kind of detect magic is instantaneous or does it last a while?
Yeah, it's 10 minutes.
OK.
Nothing seems to change with the magical aura of the room.
Other than that, the water is funneling out somewhere.
Somewhere northward.
Somewhere to the north of the room you were in.
Duly noted.
I say I will forget.
But in this moment, duly noted.
Should we go somewhere else, you guys?
I'm panting.
Everybody's just watching here.
Flay, what do you think?
Well, I mean, the room said safe.
It didn't say anything else about it.
So we could try a different room.
I guess if we do stay here, we are technically safe.
We are just somehow allowing someone else to flush a toilet.
OK.
Let's get out of this room.
OK.
You enter back into the room where you fought the chimera and you are facing east.
Across from you directly is the opening, the passageway, which looks to be a hallway
going down further into the cave thing you are in.
And the door to the north, which was a large double door.
I say we go north.
Oh, yes.
OK.
Sounds good.
As you get close to the door, you see that they appear to be bulging out noticeably from their frame.
The hand motions that's going on is great.
Bulging out noticeably.
It's not as dirty as it sounds.
It's like you're holding two big boobies.
Maybe the doors look like two big boobies.
Do the doors look like two big boobies?
Bulging out.
Goodness gracious.
No, they look like normal doors, but they are noticeably bulging out.
Like something was trying to get out of them.
Maybe.
They're noticeably being their shape.
OK, then I'll stop describing.
Your hand motions remain the same.
Is there like a big bar across it?
Because I was picturing like double swinging doors.
So clearly that can't be the case.
Well, they're too large, like a French door style, but much larger.
But they are bowing into appears to be bowing into the room you are in.
Totally full of water.
For me.
That's what that sink is going to.
We flooded the room with the three buckets of water.
It's all I took, man.
Magic water.
How are these doors closed?
Just knobs, regular knobs.
Something's going to come out when we open the doors.
They have two.
Yeah, they have two.
A large handle on each door.
OK.
I grab one handle.
OK.
Great.
I'll grab the other.
We can open them both at the same time and both kind of get out of the way.
Yeah, Flint, prepare yourself.
Flint's standing directly in front of the door.
Right in the middle of the zags.
I'll stand behind the door that Thea's going to open.
OK, are we going to go one, two, three, go or one, two, three and go on three?
One, two, three, go.
OK.
One.
Two.
Three.
Go.
Make a dexterity check.
Hey there.
It's me, your Dungeon Master Russ More.
Sorry I'm whispering.
I'm doing late editing trying to get this episode out for you on time.
And it looks like it's going to work out for me.
Thank you for joining us for episode 23 of Dumbgeons and Dragons titled Into the Tomb of Diderius.
Let's hop back into the episode though as Flint, Thea and Nularaaais stumble their way deeper into the dark of the tomb of Diderius.
We'll chat with you hopefully over the next couple of weeks here on Twitter and Facebook.
Back to the show.
14.
Great.
That is an 11.
19.
Jesus Christ, your rolls are awesome.
Flint, you save.
You still take half damage.
But as you one, two, three, open these doors, broken stone and boulders pour into this room.
As you release it, it pushes the doors open and breaks them into the room.
And you are knocked back by the rubble that pours into this room.
Is rubble really going to require that many dice?
Yeah.
Oh, God.
So we're in the temple of death.
Totally.
Somebody really jam packed that somehow.
I want to go back to the water room.
Totally.
God damn it.
Sounds like he's shaking a container of sprinkles.
This is not as happy as sprinkles.
That's 26 bludgeoning damage for Thea and Nulara.
Oh, my God.
And 13 for Flint.
I'm down to 20 hit points, you guys.
How many was that?
26, would you say?
Yep.
26 and 13 for Flint.
I am down to 24 hit points.
So as you are knocked back and collect yourselves, the fall that came through the door leaves the hallway ahead of you filled with stone and it is impassable.
Sorry, that passageway that was off the main?
No, sorry.
The door that you opened appears to have been a hallway, but it is now filled with stone and impassable.
So we just opened it, got beat to shit with rocks and can't even go that way.
Yeah.
Thea heaves a big sigh and just starts walking kind of dejected and like just toward that one opening.
I've got to heal myself somehow.
I'm not walking into something else with.
I got nothing.
With, I don't think I have anything either.
Use a healing surge.
Oh, yeah.
Hit die plus con.
Okay.
Is that what it is?
You can take a short rest and use any number of your hit dice plus constitution modifier.
Can we take a short rest though?
Sure.
What do I get back for that?
You can take any number of hit dice back.
Yeah, I did that.
Until you are somewhat happy with your thing and I don't know if your spell slots come back after short or long rest.
Fair.
Now I'm just only slightly bloodied.
So you guys take a rest after you were beaten by boulders.
The only passageway unsearched is the hallway to the west.
Well, it seemed like the easiest way to go and we chose to ignore it, so I guess that's on us, guys.
The hallway slants down sharply and is only passable by one person at a time, so which order are you going in?
I'll go first.
I'll be last.
Flint, you walk down this hallway and are you walking down cautiously looking for things or are you just going in haphazardly?
I'm whistling a jaunty tune.
No, I'm relatively guarded in my approach.
Yeah, for sure.
So you guys are a little nervous perhaps, cautious, probably a better word, based on the interactions you've had in this area.
So Flint, make an investigation check.
And that's an intelligence modifier, so you get advantage on that.
Yeah, I do.
Well, it's going to be hard to beat that first one.
That was a 17.
You walk down this hallway and you notice about halfway down on the left side of the hallway, a secret panel way,
large enough for a small creature to fit through or one of you three if you were to squeeze into it.
What do you think, guys?
Is Russ going to kill me off finally?
Is it bulging?
No, there's no bulging from this panel.
Well, I might as well go have a look.
The panel is able to be removed and it reveals a narrow shaft that looks like it maybe once housed some sort of dumb waiter situation
and it drops down from what you can tell approximately 30 feet and you see stairs below.
Would this be like a one at a time thing or?
Yes.
All right.
I go back over to the group and and I ask, well, what do you guys think?
I relay the situation at hand.
Does it seem disturbed at all?
Like we're in underground.
Like, shouldn't we be able to tell if people have been like traipsing through this business?
No.
Great.
I've been wondering the same thing.
Like, that's why I thought the safe one.
Someone must have written it, but we haven't really seen any signs of other people having recently been down.
How how there's no not perverted way to say this.
How wide is the shaft?
It looks like a small creature or a medium creature could squeeze their way down the width of the shaft.
But not like with a ladder and then we just crawl down it.
That would take up too much room.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So you'd have to kind of shimmy your way down.
I say we keep going and come back to this if we need to.
You know, it's good to know that it's here.
And every room we've gone in has just fucked us.
So I don't know why we squeeze down a narrow tube.
We don't know what's down this main passageway yet.
That's true.
Fair enough.
You guys decide to continue down the hallway.
And as you get nearing the end of the hallway, Flint, make a perception check, which is wisdom.
So not 15.
You walk down to the end of the hallway and you step down onto a plate that clicks.
Well, nice knowing you guys.
And you hear grinding and moving of tiles from behind you in the room you just left.
The three of you turn and you see falling towards you a large boulder shaped object gaining speed down the hallway.
But this isn't a stone boulder, no.
This mass appears to be made up of skeletons whose arms are reaching from all sides, seemingly trying to grab onto something, anything as it barrels towards you.
Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of Incompetech.Filmmusic.io.
Where did my pencil go?
I just had it.
Did you stab yourself with it?
Is it behind your ear like a real cool dude?
Oh, yeah.
He is always like that too.
I thought you were just saying that because you know.
He puts pencils in there because his ears are so big.
I just had it.
Hold on.
I got to find a writing utensil.
Oh, this is blah, blah, blah.
Russ is having a good night so far.
I know.
I have to be here with him.
I mean, when you said you had a headache, I thought that was going to be the worst for dealing with.
But no, no, it's Russ and his diva attitude.
He couldn't even hear you say that.
This will be a fun treat for him to find when he's editing a podcast.
This is an Easter egg for Russ.
I also have only a third of a beer left and I'm scared to ask for another one.
Russ is like, fuck you and your beer.
It's not happening.
Is it happening?
Oh, no, it's not happening.
I got all excited.
After one of you dies here.
I think you're right.
Don't be a dick.
So I should roll a new character for next time?
Yep, absolutely.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.